You all are probably tired of seeing my wedding countdown every single time you see a new post from me has been created, so here you go. The title also reminded me of Scott Pilgrim vs The World, so I listened to some Scott Pilgrim songs while writing this.
Before we start this blog post, if you see the acronym HSP, that stands for Highly Sensitive Person. I first mention HSPs in my blog post called I Am A Highly-Sensitive Person. Here’s an excerpt from that blog post:
My high sensitivity is why I get extremely angry over social injustices. It’s why I have such a hard time adjusting to change. It’s why I worry so much about what people think of me. It’s why I pick up people’s emotions and absorb them as my own. It’s a part of why I have an anxiety disorder (fact: Highly-sensitive people are more likely to have issues with anxiety). It’s why I can’t stand criticism at all. It’s why I shut down if I am given multiple tasks in a short time. It’s why I desperately NEED to find out who I am and what my purpose in life is.
The parts I bolded are the aspects of my HSP trait that inspired this blog post. I pick up people’s emotions and absorb them as my own. However, I picked up multiple emotions from one person and only absorbed one emotion. Also, if this specific change were to happen, I would have an EXTREMELY hard time with the change.
How is grad school going? It’s majorly kicking my butt and I have no motivation this semester! Actually, this semester is kicking everyone’s butts. One guy was even hitting his head on the wall next to him during a midterm. Yes, I know the guy. You see, I had classes with this classmate last semester and he’s the only person I talk to in my classes this semester. We’re pretty close and he’s cute (hey, being engaged doesn’t cause blindness), which makes people think I have a crush on him (I’m getting married in June, hello…)
In order for things to make sense on this post, let’s first focus on the second bolded statement: It’s why I pick up people’s emotions and absorb them as my own. Or in this case: picked up multiple emotions from the same person and absorbed one emotion. We got our exam results back for one class (the one with the guy beating his head against the wall) and he and I didn’t do so well on it. I accepted it since a lot of us knew that some things on the exam weren’t on the study guide and I didn’t do much studying for it due to another exam, but the guy next to me seemed mentally and emotionally broken. I don’t know if he’s been pressured into the Asian stereotype where you MUST do well and get A’s and stuff, but he seemed pretty darn upset at seeing the 60-something score on his exam. I could sense his anger, his disappointment, and his upset state. However, I absorbed his feeling of being upset. Honestly, I was a bit afraid of my friend at this point. You could tell that he was about to hit or throw something.
Now this is where the first bolded statement, It’s why I have a hard time adjusting to change, comes in. When I heard the words “I’m going to drop the class” (or was it “I’m dropping the class”?) next to me, I almost burst into tears. You see, my friend in the class is the only person I talk to in that class. We know each other from last semester since we had the same classes then too. Talking to him is the only thing I look forward to in that class. If he drops the class, not only would I not be able to handle the change, but I won’t be talking to anyone at all. I’d have to go from seeing him thrice weekly to once a week. A void would open in my heart if he dropped the class (dramatic, I know…). I spent last week trying to get the people who know him to convince him not to drop the class. What helps is the professor is curving the scores at the end of the semester since my friend definitely would have dropped the class if there’d be no curve.
This semester would have been harder for me to endure without him. It’s about to be the deadline to drop a class without it counting as a failed class, so I hope I see him in my Monday/Wednesday class. Or I’ll slap him. Update: He didn’t drop the class, but after I learned something about the friend after I made this blog post, I regret wanting to slap him.
Midterm Exam – 0, Highly Sensitive Empath trait – 1