Decluttering in 2019: Summer Series

Summer was hot. My fiance is even hotter. To let the air flow more around my house when he’s over, this is what I got rid of:

  • Two pairs of work pants
    • They don’t fit anymore. One pair is too big in the legs and the other pair doesn’t fit right near the hips
  • Three chargers
    • Two wall chargers, one car charger
    • At the beginning of September, my touchscreen completely stopped working so after having the same phone for almost seven years, I had no choice but to conform and get a smartphone. Unlike my previous phones, this phone takes a USB-C charger so all of my micro USB chargers are useless

I didn’t get rid of much stuff this time around, but I hope that I can get more stuff out by the end of December. Thinking about it, most of my decluttering will happen in 2020, but decluttering this year is a start.

DiaryofSelf Marries in 2020

Meet the Cast: Wedding Party Edition! (No Pictures)

Note: This was updated on December 18, 2019. I had to replace a groomsman due to him being in jail and him not getting out before the wedding.

Hey everyone! Now that we have the wedding party members confirmed, let me introduce you to them! Now let’s get a couple of privacy things out of the way:

  1. I will be using the first two letters of their first names. I was going to use the first letter, but we have people who share the same first initial. I apologize in advanced for any translation issues this causes.
  2. No pictures (as stated in the title). This is for privacy reasons.

Let’s start off with the people standing on my side! First off, my Matron of Honor: De

De was our program administrator on the project Franklin and I met on. She is my “big sister”. She doesn’t drink, so her drink to toast with will be non-alcoholic (my venue offers non-alcoholic toasting drinks for people who don’t or can’t drink). I had lunch with her recently and I hope to find some time to have afternoon tea at a tea house next to my florist. I feel like she’ll be able to get me calm and focused when it comes to wedding stuff, especially when the wedding gets closer and closer.

Bridesmaid 1: Va

Va is my best friend from undergrad. We met in marching band during my sophomore year and her freshman year. I was in color guard and she played clarinet. Funny story: I met her through another clarinet player I was friends with when Va was invited to eat lunch with us during band camp. Guess who I mainly hung out with and still talk to nowadays? Va! She has a mushroom allergy, which won’t be an issue for catering (more on that later when I talk about the flower girl’s food allergy). She also has experience being a bridesmaid in her university roommate’s wedding (her roommate was in speech therapy with me in elementary school, believe it or not).

Bridesmaid 2: Ti

Ti is my cousin Ke’s (info about him later) wife. She and my cousin have been together since the end of high school… more than a decade ago. I knew I wanted Ti to be a bridesmaid in my wedding ever since I first started dating my previous ex. I got to be a bridesmaid in her wedding and got to learn some things from her that I can think about for my wedding (read my experience with being a bridesmaid here). Right before the bridesmaids got lined up, she almost made me cry in a good way because I told her that I get to finally call her my cousin and she said we’ve been cousins for years. Now the roles will be reversed. She is a teaching assistant at Head Start preschool.

Bridesmaid 3: Ka

Ka is my childhood friend (I still use the word since she was in 5th grade when I met her and I was in 6th grade). We met at the hair salon. I actually did a guest perspective on her wedding in an early blog post, but I referred to her as “Maxine” in the post. She lived an hour away from me for awhile after she graduated from college, but she has now moved to the area her husband grew up in. This means she’s a lot closer to my house now and we’re reconnecting now that I don’t have to travel an hour to see her. We went to the same college together. She plays the violin and has wanted bagpipes since high school, but her husband doesn’t want to get evicted from their apartment due to noise complaints. She is a preschool teacher. She wanted to be a chef, but she gets impatient when cooking and you need to cook everything properly to prevent getting people sick.

Flower Girl: Mi

Mi is my niece. She is 6 years old (and still will be at the time of the wedding) and I’m her favorite relative (since day 1). She has a peanut allergy and I made sure that she will be able to be accommodated for the reception, which won’t be an issue since my venue cooks allergy-friendly foods separately and before the buffet food is cooked. She has experience being a flower girl when she was three years old at my sister-in-law’s friend’s wedding, so I’m not worried about things going wrong with her.

Now for the people standing on Franklin’s side! First off, his Best Man: Do

Do is Franklin’s younger brother. The roles will be reversed since Franklin was the best man at Do’s wedding. He’s an IT tech dude on the west coast. I have never met him in-person, but have video chatted with him on Google Duo a few times before. While he married long before he and Franklin’s father passed away, I hope he will be able to help Franklin whenever he has trouble coping with the fact that his father won’t see his oldest son get married.

Groomsman 1: An

An is my Godbrother. He was actually one of my first choices, but there was a possibility of him going to West Point and I wasn’t sure if he’d get out for summer break in time. Well, he ended up staying in-state for university. His mom (my Godmother) and my mom used to work together as toll collectors. He played football, lacrosse, and wrestled in high school as well as participated in JROTC. I actually got my grad school acceptance email the same day as his regional wrestling match (which he won!), but I kept it a secret from him and his mom so I wouldn’t take away from a big match.

Groomsman 2: Da

Da is my brother from dad’s previous marriage (we have the same dad, but different moms). He’s the father of my flower girl. He’s a police officer because my dad was one. I don’t get to see him as often as I’d like to, but I get to see him more often than I did in my childhood. We both loved the show Ren and Stimpy as a kid and we sometimes make similar facial expressions. I know I should write more about my brother, so… he’s allergic to pollen and he drinks soda without ice.

Groomsman 3: Ke

Ke is my cousin who got married back in April (from this guest/bridesmaid perspective). Fun fact about him: despite being born with asthma, he is VERY talented with the saxophone. He even surprised his wife Ti with a saxophone performance during his wedding reception! He has been spending lots of time thinking about how he’s getting old, mainly because he remembers when I was four years old and now I’m about to be 27 and will be getting married soon.

Ringbearer: Gr

Gr is Franklin’s nephew and the son of the best man. He’s 2 years old right now, but will be 3 years old at the time of the wedding. Due to his age, I’m a bit worried at how well he’ll do, but his dad will already be standing up front and his mom will pick him up from the aisle if he’s too slow (he and my niece walk before I do and my song has a cue for me to walk in. I’m not missing my cue because of anyone). He knows sign language because he had recurring ear infections as a baby and he learned sign language in case he has some hearing issues. I feel like the sign language may be causing speech delays because he sometimes signs instead of speaking, but I think he’s catching up now.

DiaryofSelf Marries in 2020

T – 9 Months: Something Something Baby

Alternative title: T – 9 Months: If You Get Pregnant Today, Your Baby Will Probably Be Born on My Wedding Day! (That title is too long for a blog post)

So I’m back in grad school! Now it’s time to once again balance grad school with wedding planning… just like I did last Fall Semester! Except this time, I’ll be busier. This means Franklin will really need to start taking control of things while I’m busy.

So what have I done since the 10-month mark? This:

  • We have booked our florist!
    • This was the most difficult vendor booking that we’ve ever had. We contacted one florist and they never responded, so Franklin contacted them via Facebook and the owner told us to fill out the contact form again. By this point, they were booked for our day. This made me nervous because I already felt behind schedule with the flowers and knowing that some place was already booked made me think we wouldn’t find anyone.
    • The store manager we consulted with at this place even gave us suggestions to save money. Because she suggested that we’d save money by getting our own vases for the centerpieces, we went from $200-$300 per elevated centerpiece to only $30 per elevated centerpiece
  • Bought some vases and stones to fill the vases, as per our florist’s suggestion
  • The bridesmaid proposal cards have gone out into the mail!

This is what needs to be done between now and the 8-month mark:

  • Finalize the wedding party
    • So far, I have the matron of honor, the best man, and 2 of 3 groomsmen
    • I need to get a “yes” from the people I want as bridesmaids (my cousin’s wife, my childhood friend, and my best friend from undergrad) and the last groomsman (my cousin who got married in April)
  • Get ideas for bridesmaid dresses
    • I found one I liked a long time ago, but Sorella Vita stopped selling that style. I guess bridesmaid dresses have seasons like with bridal gowns
    • My matron of honor will wear a different dress than the bridesmaids to signify her elevated status
  • Send an email with a list of questions to my venue coordinator
  • Finalize the Save the Date design
  • Get the guest list FINALLY together!
    • It would have been done by now (ugh, mom!), but mom has had to deal with other stuff like her cousin’s older brother unexpectedly dying and getting my grandfather’s birthday corrected on legal documents since we recently discovered that his birth certificate has the wrong date for his birthday

And this is what also needs to be done between now and the end of 2019:

  • Pick gowns for the bridesmaids and matron of honor
    • As in, choose the gowns and have the girls order them
  • Figure out where to get tuxes
    • I have heard horrible things about Men’s Wearhouse so I don’t want to go with them, but it may be easier to use them since the best man lives in Seattle
  • Send save-the-dates to out-of-state guests
  • Choose the cake(s)
    • Tentative plan is to follow cost-saving advice and get a sheet cake to serve and a cake for cutting
  • Get the rest of the addresses from people who were on the same project where Franklin and I met
  • Figure out what to put in wedding registries
  • Update the address book
    • This is ongoing for the time being, but I hope to not need to update it anymore after 2019 ends, but a co-worker is planning to move early next year so I’ll need to update the address book with his new address (he already gave me his current address)
  • Get more vases