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My Experience Being a Bridesmaid

For my cousin’s wedding, I FINALLY got to be a bridesmaid. I didn’t think I was going to be in the wedding because about a year and a half before the wedding, my cousin asked his little brother to be the best man. I still wanted to have fun at the wedding regardless. I was asked to be a bridesmaid about 10 months out.

Dress shopping experience: Diane is a lovely David’s Bridal worker. She measured everyone and we got our sizes. We learned after I tried my dress on that we can have our sizes picked based on bust size since the dress is A-line and looks like an empire waist. (This dress in the color quartz) I can’t do strapless so I liked having this option. We all ended up ordering the dress online since it was on sale online. My dress arrived to my house about a month later.

Bachelorette party: I went to my cousin’s house since I was riding with his fiancee (bride-to-be, of course), his future sister-in-law (the maid of honor), and another bridesmaid. I got there earlier than we were planning to leave, so we left shortly after I changed into the shirt we were all given. We went on a dinner cruise and scared the Asians at the table next to us JUST FOR EXISTING! Seriously. Asians are afraid of (or flat out don’t like) black people. We were a group of black people and we weren’t acting “ghetto” at all. We had to go back to the docks an hour early due to impending weather and the Asian family freaked out and left while everyone was doing the Cupid Shuffle. While it didn’t surprise me since they kept looking at us, experiencing blatant prejudice is something I’m not used to (and should not be used too…).

The cruise was supposed to start at 7 PM (1900 for 24-hour time people), but we didn’t actually start moving away from the docks until 15 minutes after that time. I guess it felt like a long time since boarding started early (boarding typically starts 30 minutes prior to cruise time), but with how the weather was, we thought we’d be dockside the entire time.

I was worried about the bride-to-be and another bridesmaid. One of the bridesmaids was eight weeks pregnant, was on anti-nausea medication, and had a hard time eating. She was only able to eat mashed potatoes and broccoli without feeling sick. The bride-to-be got sick in the bathroom from a combination of the rocking of the boat and the alcohol. She thought she was drinking a glass of lemonade at her house, but it was actually vodka. I still don’t know how she thought vodka was lemonade. She had a drink on the cruise and we kind of figured she was feeling sick since she was barely eating.

Ceremony rehearsal: I looked at this rehearsal with a critical eye so I can see how things will be done at my wedding with the same franchise, but different venue location. People showed up late, despite being told to come on time. The venue’s coordinator coordinated the wedding so he still had us start on time. I’m the first bridesmaid to walk which was something I DID NOT WANT! I know where I’m supposed to be positioned, and now I’m worried that the unity candle’s flame will catch me on fire (I’m supposed to stand in front of it). We walked through twice and those 30 minutes went fast. Since I want music at the rehearsal to practice the timing between the wedding party and I, I might pay for extra rehearsal time.

The rehearsal also made me think about what to do about where I want my groomsman to get dressed. For my cousin’s wedding, the women will be getting dressed at the venue while the men will get dressed at the hotel and arrive at the venue already dressed. I was thinking that for my wedding, everyone will get dressed at the venue (there are two bridal suites, one on each floor so I know I won’t bump into anyone I’m not supposed to see). I also need to figure out if I’m going to nix the memorial table idea. Originally, there was to be a memorial table for the bride’s mom and grandfather at my cousin’s wedding. Now, they will do pictures of lost loved ones on the seats instead of a memorial table. Memorial tables seem to be on the way out in regards to what’s in and what’s out. Wedding Wire forum posters say to not do memorial tables since it’s like a funeral at a wedding when you wouldn’t have a wedding at someone’s funeral. When I asked on the wedding chat I belong to, the two people who responded also said they weren’t doing memorial tables. I’ll need to talk to Franklin about what he wants to do to honor his dad’s memory.

The day before the wedding: I had to make a last-minute trip to the nail salon and had to push up my hair appointment to later in the day. I wasn’t going to get my nails done with the rest of the wedding party, but I was sent the name of the brand and color. There was only one place that had the color, so I had no choice but to get my nails done. I really liked the nail salon, though. I also gave my hairstylist a larger tip because she was able to let me come late.

The wedding day, before heading to the venue: My day started when I woke up at 6:30 AM in the middle of a dream where I was helping a co-worker choose a beanie style. I got dressed in my bridesmaid shirt from the bachelorette party and a pair of exercise pants, brushed my teeth, and went to the hotel. I ate some bacon while waiting for the hair and makeup people to get here. I got my hair put into a drawstring ponytail the day before, so I was waiting on make-up. I took an L-theanine (helps with anxiety) so I could get through getting my makeup done (the last time foundation even touched my face, I started hyperventilating. Gender identity issues are a bitch). I was able to get into a meditative state for my make-up time, but it failed on me right before the ceremony started. I found out that we were all driving ourselves. Since mom dropped me off (since we all thought there would be a limo or something for us), one of the bridesmaids offered to drive me to the venue. I rode back with Franklin, so she didn’t need to wait for me. I wish I packed another L-theanine or took the whole bottle with me. The bride-to-be was having such anxiety and you can still drink alcohol.

The ceremony and reception commentary is found here.