So first of all, I’m going to say something irrelevant: I am so happy about Janelle Monáe coming out as pansexual. It really started a conversation about what it means to be pansexual and while I don’t identify as pansexual, she is a black queer woman like I am. Representation matters. She’s my idol.
In this blog, I pledged to try one new thing each month in 2018. The new thing could be trying a new food, doing a new activity, or going someplace new. I have asked my fellow readers and my boyfriend to hold me accountable. At the end of each month, I will tell you all what new thing or things I have tried. I will also discuss the barriers that caused me to not try it before.
I’m going to be honest and say that I didn’t do much, but I still did something this month. It’s starting to become difficult to find something new to try. This month, I went to a new place. I went to Bonefish Grill.
Barrier to going to Bonefish Grill: The only seafood I eat is salmon cooked by my dad. It wasn’t until some time after graduating from university when I even tried salmon.
Why I went to Bonefish Grill: My grandmother got me the wrong gift card. I asked for Texas Roadhouse, but she got me an Outback Steakhouse gift card. I had been to Outback Steakhouse last month and a couple of other times within a six-month timespan, so I didn’t want to go back to Outback Steakhouse so soon.
My thoughts on Bonefish Grill: It was meh, in all honesty. I was given the wrong side and I found a bone in my salmon. The green beans were tough (I got green beans so I could eat healthy, but I never liked green beans). Not planning to go back to Bonefish Grill.
So on today’s date of April 27th 2018, my boyfriend comes home from a military class. Like many people whose significant others are away for something military-related (active duty, reserves, or National Guard), I can sometimes struggle with what things I can do while my boyfriend is away. Regardless of if your significant other is away for less than a month (like mine) or is away on deployment, it’s a good idea to find something to keep yourself busy. So instead of saying things that I want to do like I did in Temporary Goodbyes are Hard (and yes, this is the same class mentioned on here), I’ll tell you the things I did.
- Spring Cleaning: In my bedroom, I have something that I call a hutch, but it’s probably actually a wardrobe. It had become cluttered so I took the time to do some long overdue decluttering. There’s a Geekfuel box that I won in a raffle at an old job that has some things that Franklin might want. If not, I can give the stuff inside the box away. I also dusted and decluttered the top of the dresser.
- Take my car for emissions testing: I got an email earlier last week saying that it was time for emissions testing. I had to do it by July 11th, so I decided to go to a kiosk the Saturday after I got the email. I wanted to do it early since I’m about to be very busy and don’t want to forget about it.
- Pay my summer tuition bill: I paid the tuition bill later than I had planned (bad diaryofself), but it was still well before the payment due date.
- Get my immunization form signed: Yes, it’s another necessary task relating to grad school. I had to go to my doctor for him to fill out and sign my immunization form. Everyone is required to have received both doses of the Measles, Mumps, and Rubella (MMR) vaccine and the Tetanus-Diptheria-Pertussis (TDaP) vaccination in order to attend the university. I uploaded the document to the university health portal and was able to check another thing off my to-do list for grad school.
I have done some pretty important things while Franklin was away, especially the stuff related to grad school. For some reason, I keep holding off on buying my math textbook. I should really do that before I end up in a situation where the book won’t arrive in time. I should probably get on that.
Exactly a year ago today, you started this blog. You started seriously wanting to figure out who you are. You’re still figuring it out and although you might never figure out who you are, you might be able to find your purpose in life. However, you have experienced personal growth.
You started trying new things even before the Try Something New in 2018 goal. You started taking some control of your anxiety, although you still have anxiety issues. You left a relationship that triggered some anxiety due to constantly being called sheltered, where the guy thought he was always right, and conformed to everything that was trendy. You met someone who is supportive. You got new diagnoses that surprisingly didn’t kill you. You sometimes struggle with your gender identity, but you’re becoming a little more okay with your biological sex and everything that comes with it. You are becoming a stronger, more vocal feminist. You recently started lifting real weights (not using the weight machines like you did in university) at your kickboxing gym after deciding to be silly and trying to use the ez-curl bar when it was just you and your boyfriend. It didn’t feel as silly or as heavy and now you have started lifting near the end of class almost every class. For the first time in your life, you feel empowered.
Here’s to another year of DiaryOfSelf, where within a year you will start grad school, lift weights to make yourself better in different aspects of life, get a blue belt in kickboxing, keep trying new things, and hopefully get engaged.