My mental health has been good lately. I’ve come to terms with my ADHD and am learning techniques to help with my focus and improving my short-term memory.
People tell me I’m a negative person. I’m actually a realist. Many people who are realists seems like negative people to anyone who is (naively, in my opinion) an optimist. To prove that I’m not always a Negative Nancy and to celebrate my good mental health, let’s make a positive post!
Being around positive people is… how should I describe it… fun? good for you? mentally beneficial? All of the above! Being around positive people is fun, good for you, and mentally beneficial. The people who should be in your life are the ones who build you up instead of tearing you down. Who make you laugh. Who make you want to sing in the car despite having a horrible singing voice. Who make you not freak out when they drive with their knee instead of their hands (yeah, this is specific. Will talk about this later). A positive person I will talk about in today’s blog is my co-worker Franklin.
When I first met Franklin back in March, he was a new member of my project team (his role is different from mine). My first thought wasn’t the best thought, mainly due to my feelings that there aren’t enough women or people of color in the tech industry. When he was having issues with his car and asked people at lunch for a ride to and from work, as soon as he said where he lived, I instantly said “My car isn’t bulletproof.” Yeah, I don’t have a brain-to-mouth filter because I don’t have the cognitive ability to know what stuff needs to be kept in my head (unlike a few family members who choose not to use that filter).
You’re probably wondering how we started getting along. Beats me. Weeks after the whole “My car isn’t bulletproof!” deal, his car was at the mechanic shop since his car needed a new part and there would possibly be much longer to wait for the back-ordered part. We had a team-bonding event coming up (it was canceled a few days beforehand since only a few people paid the developer lead in advanced and people were backing out) and after finding out that he’s in the safe part of that town, I offered to be his ride to the escape room and back to his place. Sadly for me and fortunately for him, the car part came in and his car was repaired in time. However, that wasn’t the last opportunity for me to make penance.
A few weeks after that, we started organizing Happy Hour after work. He wanted to ride with a designated driver, so I volunteered. The day of happy hour arrived and I was so excited that I went to TimeAndDate.com’s countdown creation and had a countdown created. During the drive to the happy hour location, I learned that he likes Eurovision. Yes! Another person aware of Eurovision! He’s aware of more songs than I know of, though. We had fun and went to get frozen yogurt afterwards.
I really got the chance to know him a little more than a week later when he came over to talk to my dad about his landlady issues. He moved out of his previous “apartment” (half of a basement rented out) to a new apartment at the end of June. I’m there about once a week since he can now have guests where he lives.
People have noticed that I’ve been happier since becoming close to Franklin, and I guess they’re right. I feel less pressure to catch up with other people my age in regards to independent development. I’ve started taking more care of my appearance (not with make-up. I’m still anti-makeup) by putting witch hazel on my shoulders to work on clearing my hyperpigmentation marks. I’m even starting to reclaim some femininity. When I picked him up from the train station last month, I wore a dress. I had plans to get rid of every single dress I owned and buy ties and bowties. I got my hair cut short (though that’s mainly due to hair breakage and questioning my gender identity…). Also, I sometimes sing in the car now. I never sing in the car. I can’t sing well.
I also like that he doesn’t think he’s better than other people because he was in the army (currently in National Guard). There were these two classmates in a university religion class who were in Army ROTC and they would be in their army combat uniform (some people call them “army fatigues”) every Thursday for ROTC leadership lab. The guy in ROTC seemed to think he (and other ROTC students) was more disciplined and all-around better than everyone else because the skills they’re learning for the army are useful outside of the army. The girl in ROTC wasn’t as bad as the guy, but she still had a little air of superiority. Enough about university. Back to this guy!
I didn’t mention this yet, but he does some amazing things (and some not-so-amazing things, like puns). He can drive with his left knee. I think he can only do that since he’s 5’10” (slightly under 178 cm) and I guess he has long legs. I can’t imagine my 5’3″ (160 cm) self being able to do that. I’m still trying to gain confidence when it comes to driving! He should be careful about doing that in inclement weather, though. Both hands on the steering wheel!
There’s more to say about this guy, but this post is kind of getting long anyways. To wrap this up, you have seen the posts I’ve been making lately. You probably were worried about my state of mental health. Heck, you were probably seconds away from sending crisis hotline information to me. Having one person or thing that creates some sunlight in a sky filled with dark clouds makes a difference. Don’t worry, I will still learn techniques to manage my anxiety and ADHD issues without the help of a medical professional or medications (for people who think my ADHD requires medications, it doesn’t. It’s too mild for medications and I have a naturally high heart rate, which would be made worse with stimulants).